If you would like to see the epitome of confidence, just click on your TV and watch an animal program featuring a family of gorillas.
As you watch the program, you will notice huge muscular gorillas running around, ripping down tree branches. They thump their chests and yell so all will know they are fierce gorillas. But, just as with humans, these boisterous bucks are not the gorillas running the show. To spot the true leader, look for the gorilla not trying to prove it. Seek out the one with well-honed senses, astutely keeping watch over the entire troop. He is the center of the other gorilla’s attention, serving as the community conscience; he is the police, judge and jury, having seen all and adjudicating the outcome of disputes. He decides the troop’s agenda for the day and forever. He is the Silverback Gorilla and he is in charge. No amount of screeching or chest thumping will change that.
Just as the Silverback moves calmly throughout the day projecting confidence, we should move through our environment displaying a strong air of confidence – not panicking when someone shoots a threatening look our way while we are walking down the street, when we experience road rage from another driver, or verbal aggression from the drunken guy at the bar. Confident behavior is learned through personal exploration and needs positive reinforcement through various learning vehicles, including self defense classes.
A lack of confidence implies weakness and weakness signals to an aggressor that he has a potential victim. These signals are sent by slumping shoulders, hanging head, lack of eye contact with other people, a nervous twitch. Another real sign of weakness is heard in the lack of confidence in the voice.
What does a non-confident voice sound like? A non-confident voice is quiet, possibly shaky. A person with a non-confident voice may trip over words, and talking to such a person can be an awkward experience. People who have a tough time engaging others verbally often make good targets, especially for aggressors who are bullies and thugs. Much in the same way an injured animal makes pitiable sounds reflecting its weakness, a person who sounds weak is sending weak and dangerous signals to potential predators. If a lion (predator) hears an unusual noise and goes to investigate and discovers the animal displaying weakness, he has also discovered dinner (victim).
Non-victims are comfortable in their speech, and they move with coordination and balance, often leading with their chest as they walk. Walking with the chest out just a bit has a way of keeping the body in a confident stride and in alignment. The head and shoulders fall into place. More often than not, these non-victims have some sort of workout regimen in their schedule. Exercise brings the body into alignment and brings about the fortunate by-product of a well-toned, in-shape body which conveys to others, including predators, an underlying confidence.
Next time you are out and about find a park or mall bench and people watch for 15-20 minutes. Observing people will give you insight on how a predator makes his choices. You will be surprised at how many people are disjointed in their gaits, walk with slumped shoulders, and are not confident when the verbally engage a stranger. You will realize that the world is filled with potential victims feeding right into to the hands of predators. Is it a wonder that the crime rate is so high? Once you have done some serious observation of others, analyze your self. Are you displaying any victim type traits? If so, how can you permanently change those traits? Look to the Silverback!
The Silverback is all about confidence. He is confident in his communication skills, he moves with confidence, he makes smart choices, and he trains so he is confident in his combative abilities. He has taken measures to assure his survivability. Have you taken the measures to ensure yours? Look for a good reality-based self defense school. Look for proven instructors that have the knowledge to further your education in all areas while building your confidence. Outside of your self defense school find quality supplemental information, as well. There are some fantastic reality-based self defense books and DVD’s on the market today. Set your goal to be like a Silverback Gorilla and do whatever it takes to reach your goal.