What is your desired outcome?

Dave Kovar's Living Lessons

I recently received an email from a business associate of mine regarding an issue we are trying to work through. The two of us have a different viewpoint of the situation and I felt his email response was a bit judgmental and condescending. My first reaction was to let him have it. I wanted to let him know how I didn’t appreciate his note and if that was the way he was going to play…. then so be it. Two can play that game. I was filled with righteous indignation and in some weird way, the note was fun to write. Then it hit me (fortunately before I pushed the send button )…What was the outcome I desired? Do I want to piss him off and create a war? Or do I want to come to some peaceful, mutually beneficial resolution?

After thinking it through, the answer became crystal clear. I wanted resolution. I wanted peace and if possible, I wanted a continued friendship. Then I applied Stephen Covey’s fifth habit, “seek first to understand, and then to be understood”, to the mix. The finished product was a completely different email that was received well by the other party and I felt great about sending it. And….it is helping to produce the right outcome. We haven’t come to a complete resolution yet, but we are well on our way.

I only hope that the next time I find myself in a disagreement with someone else, I remember to ask “What is my desired outcome ?” before I say something or send something that I might regret later on.

The BIDEN Gun Plan Expose

How about you? Do you ask this question? If you do, then you know it’s value. If not, try it and see. I think it will help get you the outcome you desire (pun intended).